the after 30 part...

Sassy Sue, Crazy Sue, Vivacious Sue, my Aunt Sue, the older sister I never had Sue, the one I can tell my dirtiest secrets to and hide from my mother Sue.  The Sue I love, the Sue I adore, here is to Sue. Two days ago I had lunch with my "Crazy Aunt Sue".  When I was younger, she was the lady who would scream when she saw me, come running up to me, hug me.....no not hug.... more like SQUEEZE my guts out hug me, and kiss me all over my cheeks.  As an adult, nothing has changed!!  She's a woman who tells you how she feels right then and there, no hiding, no messing around, no bull shit, lay it all on the table kind of woman.  She is loud, but we love her loud.  Her laugh is contagious, and everything is funny. . . everything is funny when you are talking to Sue. She also has the biggest heart.  THE BIGGEST HEART!  She loves loves and loves some more.  The great thing about her love is she tells you.  Every time you see her...

i am i.  i try to be just me. i am part of some totality. i am 1st person singular. i rhyme with sky, why, hi and multi-ply. i am a living being. i was born. i learned to walk and talk & to ride a two-wheeler. i went to school. i learned stuff.  i made  friends.  once i made a tent. i hung out. i wanted to be in a band.  i sang to the radio. i danced in the mirror. i read hemingway. i made love.  i lost love. i wrote poetry once. i played a blue guitar. i opened my eyes.  i looked inside.  i saw.  i see.  i give. i take.  i feel.  i find meaning. (hence another poem) i vote.  i hope.  i work. i dream.  (i like black & white  movies).  i laugh.  i listen. i remember.  i forget.  i try to forgive.  i try to stand tall. i wonder.  i say.  i believe. i am part of a larger truth. i know i am part of the world. i am i.  i am you. i am...

After always saying "I want to write my Dad's story", I decided today, that in 2010, I will finally start the first steps of this project.  I went to the book store and bought three books on writing:  The Little Red Writing Book: 20 Powerful Principles of Structure, Style, & Readability ,  The Everything Guide to Writing Nonfiction,  &   Painless Grammar.   I just used the book  Painless Grammar   to remind myself that books are not surrounded by quotation marks, but rather underlined or Italicized.  Oh, how I wish I had focused more in English class!  I will talk to Grandpa Bonds, Dad, Grandma Sandy and all the others I can talk to about this. Maybe I will even go to the state pen where my "uncle" John Chandler is and interview him... scary!!  I am very nervous to write a book.  I am sure it will take a few years at least, and many many revisions.  I am not even sure what style I want to write it in, ...

I wrote this a while ago, but after seeing this article online  http://www.udreview.com/2.1980/twelve-steps-to-beat-chapstick-addiction-1.143742  I thought I would upload it on my blog just for fun: Addiction I'm addicted.  I hide stashes around the house.  In every drawer, under couch cushions, and in pillow cases.  I have a tube in every pocket of every jacket, and one or two always in my car.  I can't sleep with out tasting the tingle I get when it hits my lips… needing that last minute comfort.  I’ll search the house for hours looking for a fix so that I can sleep.  It started when I was young, and they say the younger you start the harder it is too quit.  I buy it in bulk and store it everywhere.  Burts, Wyeth, Carmex, Blistex, bonnie bell, balms, ointments, hell even Vaseline, cherry, plain, winter, tingly, whatever... just give me my CHAPSTICK! http://www.lipbalmanonymous.com/ Not that ...

After an amazing weekend in Madrid, I am finally back home to the states. I am exhausted, emotional and miss Spain already. What is it with me and Europe that makes me always want to stay when I am there. I think because I move so much I can make some place my home easily... of course, I get homesick, but Sweden, Spain, Costa Rica, where ever, I always feel like I leave part of my heart when I spend a month or more in places. When I got off the plane in New York and I heard english speaking people, I thought I was going to be excited, but instead I was unusually annoyed and missed Spanish. It's like I needed more time hearing Spanish, wanted to hear it longer, craved it, needed it, and got irritated because I left too soon. The rest of the week at school was great. Probably the best Spanish school I have attended based on my teachers. They teach fast, but well, and it makes you have to study to keep up. I will be on a strict schedule here in the states, every other day for at le...

I sent Marcos some pictures of the concert and he went to the offical site to make a comment about the show... etc.  Apparently I was noticed.  Here is what Marcos said: ¨You won't believe it Nicholle....I posted something in the official fansite forum and everybody seems to remember you there! haha it's hilarious. As you said in your blog you looked so random there that everybody seems to be using you in the forum as a reference to find out where they were placed in the concert...isn't funny? It's like " i was standing next to the blond foreigner with glasses" and other girl said "yes i remember her, i was two lines behind her" and so on...  I told you already that you were like a sort of beacon....and that applied for everybody in the concert!¨ Cracks me up!  I did feel a little awkward there.. haha! Cole

Oh where to begin... I don't even know. Leaving Seville wasn't too hard for me. It was a great school (the best one yet until Madrid), but nothing special really attracted me to Seville (not like Cadiz!) Saturday I arrived to this massive size city, the capitol of Spain, Madrid... (holy BIG!)... I had to find the metro, then get off on Calle Gran Via, find the hostal that had my flat keys, then get back on the metro... and then find my flat. I took a detour for sure trying to find my way around, but I found it!! First, I was totally disgusted. I have been staying with families and I immediately wished i had stayed with one in Madrid. I had no sheets or blankets, the kitchen was gross, the bathrooms were sick... I didn't even know which room was mine (there are like 7 rooms in this flat)... but then as I was standing in the hallway wondering if I should just move into any room, a maid showed up. I love her. She cleaned the house for me and gave me clean linens for the bed ...

Hi!! How was everyone's Thanksgiving? I went out to this really nice restaraunt, that used to be an old mansion. Inside the house, each room was made into a dining room. We sat in the "blue room". Patrick had read about this restaraunt in his guide book and what a place. The servers were so funny and just very professional. It was actually quite brilliant (I'm speaking Oxford english now because of my German friends and how they speak english!) Anyway.. I had salmon and veggies... salad and flan for dessert. yummy!! I missed home though.. thanks for all the nice texts. Here is a picture of us at the table. I'm not sure how to spell her name, but it sounds like "Guy-a"  It is Latin, but she is Italian.. Then beside me is Patrick from Germany and Masimo from Italy.  Gauya and Masimo have been together since they were 14. Another Susie and Luke fairy tale.... so so sososo cute!!!  Love them! During the day we went to the Gardents and A...

I am in Seville, Spain unsure if where I might find a table of americans, giving grace (or fighting like any normal family), roasted turkey, yams (my style please!), mashed potatoes, green beans, cranberries and pumkpin pie... anyone?! Yeah, didn't think so. So since I am missing out on Thanksgiving and all the wonderful traditions that come with it, I decided I could at least partake in one tradition. Before dinner, I always like it when everyone says something we are thankful for... for example, the one time at Rosie's sisters house, a guy down the table said he was thankful for my yams! That was nice. :) I am going to write a few things I am thankful for... and I hope you enjoy reading. This is in no particular order... they are just coming out of my head as I go. I am thankful for my Mom. I am thankful that when I was younger she said No to going to places she might have thought were dangerous, or where I would have pressured to do bad things. I am thankful she ...

Hello my very missed and loved friends, Seville is great. I absolutely love the school. I am learning a lot in this one... more than I did in Cadiz for sure... and Malaga! I have two teachers. The first is a nice lady (don't ask me names, I forget), and she is very pleasant... just easy to listen to and talk to. The second is this man who has massive attitude and is a no bull shit kind of guy, harsh, demanding, rolls his eyes a lot. 2nd day of class he was grading my paper, and I just flat out said "you better be nice to me, or I'll leave". Ever since that comment, he checks in with me "cole, you okay, you understand?" Yes, Mr, thank you! I think I am the teachers pet. :) and I'll say it loud and proud. I haven't been playing tourist as much as I did in the other cities, because honestly, I am tired of walking... and I live so far away. Yesterday I was super indecisive.. I would walk five minutes in one direction and then change my mind. I then r...

Sorry it's been so long!!! I am now in Seville. It's nice here. It's a big city like Malaga, but it has a lot more character than Malaga. Cadiz is still my favorite place. Lets go back to last Friday night where I left off. Friday night, Thomas, Jana, Marcos and I all went out to have drinks and go dancing. Marcos is the boy in the middle of the picture in my last blog ("new friends") from the bar where we practice spanish. He lives in Cadiz.  Thomas and Jana are from Germany who were studying at the same school as me (in Cadiz). We met in the new part of Cadiz (the part that is outside the walls of the old historical Cadiz). We started at about 11pm. Maybe three or four people were in the bar. By the time 1 am came around, it still wasn't packed, but Marcos said it would be and sure enough by the time we left it was. Note: Do not order a Mijito in Spain, it just has sugar dumped in it and tastes like sugarry liquor.. bleck! After our drinks we headed out ...

Ok.... predicament!!! Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz are filming their new movie here, RIGHT OUTSIDE MY HOUSE!! Not kidding. They start filming on Monday though and I leave tomorrow. I could stay and watch an amazing bull running scene where Tom and Cameron are racing away on a motor cycle probably to go off and make fake love... or I could suck it up and go to Seville tomorrow.   The movie is called Witchita, or Night and Day.  I talked to some Hollywood dude and he said they might change the name. grrr... such is life. I will get on the train tomorow and go to Seville.  "waaaaa..... waaaaa" They are setting up for filming right now. It's neat to see how they do things. They have a zip line all the way down the street... and that is where the camera will be from up above (I'm sure there will be more). They have put up Spanish red flags on all the houses to show Spain Spirit... Did I mention BULLS?!?! Man, what bad luck. Oh well, I'm excited for Seville anyway. h...

It seems every other day is a good day in class. Tuesday I wanted to die, then Wednesday I felt like a Spanish Goddess on top of a high mountain reigning over my people... but then Thursday, (today), I felt like crawling into a hole. After class I had to talk to the director about my hours in class. I was only getting 15 lessons, but I am paying for 20, etc.... after ten minutes of her speaking super fast in Spanish, I finally got a word in saying.. "I don't understand much of what you are saying"... and then I broke down. She must have thought I was crazy. My brain is just so exhausted concentrating on every word that every person is saying, and I just start to feel so dumb not understanding. She apologized and thought I was in the advanced class.. and asked if I needed anything, water, a beer? haha. I love her. I do think my Spanish is getting better though as I am able to tell people more things, and feeling more comfortable. I am just going to blame me not understandi...