All of these are from The Skagway News Vol. XXXIII, No. 16.
A woman was told by a train agent three times how to get to the end of the dock. When she finally wandered very slowly down to the end, she weaved over to the tour shack. There, she asked one tour seller where the shuttle bus was, and how much it cost.
"It's right behind you ma'am, and it's two dollars to ride into town," he said.
She looked at him, and asked again, "Where's the bus?"
He told her again, but again she asked "Where is the bus, and how much?"
A bit frustrated now, the seller repeated the answer, telling her this was the third time he had told her.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said. "I drink."
A man walks up to the clerk in the ticketing window at the White Pass rail depot and says, "Do you work here?"
(This is one of the most annoying questions I get everyday "do you work here?" um..... no, I just have 50 things in my hand and putting them back, an apron on, and re-folding on the shirts you just screwed up... all for fun!)
A woman on a SMART bus said she was "having difficulty breathing because of the high altitude." (For those of you who don't know where Skagway, AK is, we are at sea level right next to the sea.)
A young man, peering into the window of the bookstore, looked at his wife and a friend said, "Oh, they have a book about you two, Two Old Women."
"I really hate when they stand in the middle of the road taking pictures or just walking down the street oblivious to vehicular traffic around them," said one man.
The man with him agreed, as they both walked down the middle of Broadway with a truck and bus behind them.
Two women were walking down the street, and one remarked to the other, "See, they don't have parking lots, they have bike racks."
I told you all this one last week, but it was published. Here it is again:
A customer came up and asked, "In your bulk taffy bin, do you have salmonberry flavor in it?"
The employee replied, "No we sell the salmonberry taffy separate in its own bag."
"Oh good, because I'm allergic to fish and I just wanted to make sure before I bought from the bulk taffy bin."
As a people-mover was driving her cart back to the ship on the Railroad Dock's aft berth, and weaving around tourists, the little old lady sitting next to the driver remarked, "It looks like a damn Wal-Mart parking lot."
(This one is from me too, and I am the clerk.)
A customer came up and asked if there was anywhere "reasonable" to eat?
The clerk (me) said "Why yes! We have a lot of nice yummy places to eat, such as the Fish Co, Smoothie Shop, Sweet Tooth...."
The customer interrupted: "No, I mean like a McDonald's."
"No Skagway doesn't have places (franchises) like that."
"Well they had one in Juneau?"
"Yes, Juneau has different laws there Each city has it's own way of running."
"I just can't understand it, how can you not have McDonald's? Where is the closest one?"
"Juneau or Whitehorse. Whitehorse is about a two hour drive, though."
Her mouth was open wide. She then looked the clerk (me) up and down, as even she did not believe what she had been told, and then snorted and said, "Well.... I guess I'll just have to go try that Red Onion place if I want to eat," and stammered off.
One more last Heard on the Wind will be coming soon!!
Until next time!!