Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Tourist Etiquette

Okay, so tourists are my livelihood.  They are the reason my business is successful.  They are the main source of my income.  I love them!!  They are awesome!!!  There are, however, a small % who just either don't get it or are super grumpy!  I would like to point out some good tourist etiquette, as well as, some of my pet peeves, that not only goes for tourists, but anyone shopping in a store.

1.  If you insist on picking up every folded shirt, in every size and design, please do not leave them on the floor, in a random section such as the candy bins, shoved in corners (we once had a tourist shove one in our toilet, why?!?!?) and at least TRY to fold it back into place.  I understand the need to open a shirt up and look at it, but I have actually witnessed people just kind of pick it up half way and flop it back down and move on to do that to 13 more shirts...... are you really interested or just wanting to annoy me?

2.  When I tell you that I don't have that shirt in small, I really mean it.  No, I don't need to go look.  I stock those shirts everyday, all day and I know that shirt has been out of smalls for the last few weeks.  If we had it, don't you think I would want to sell it to you?  I would, really, I would, but I DON'T HAVE IT IN A SMALL, SO STOP ASKING and please do not look annoyed when I don't go and look.  If I have to pretend to go look, its just wasting my time!

3.  If you must fart, and you know it's going to be stinky, for the love of all holiness, please go fart outside or go take a crap in the public restroom.  I think I actually tasted some farts this year.... heavens, what do they feed you guys on that ship?

4.  When you bring your items up to the counter, I don't need you telling me the price for each item.  It will automatically ring up that way.  I promise.

5.  Or vice versa.. if you bring up all 20 items and ask me "how much is this? how much is this? how much is this?" for each item.  I will get annoyed.  Look on the back, as everything is individually priced for your convenience.

6. "No Sir, that shirt isn't on sale.  Do you see a sign by it that says it's discounted?  No?  Well then it's not on sale.  Nope that one isn't either.  Everything we have on sale will have a clearly marked sign by it that says it's discounted or not.  No Sir, not that one either. *sigh! Would you please open your eyes and look at the signs and READ?"

7.  If you want us to give you a bag for each of your 33 key chains for 33 of your friends because they are "gifts".  I will either charge you for the 32 bags (the first one's free!) or tell you to go buy some gift wrap at the store.  They are, after all, "gifts".  But I will NOT give you 32 more plastic bags that will end up in landfill, even if you promise to recycle them.  It's wasteful and stupid!

and speaking of bags 8.  If you buy something from our store and already have bags in your hands that you can use, why not use them?  My number one pet peeve is when a customer will insist on having a bag, and then they take that bag and shove it in their other bag!  What a waste!!?   Have you ever heard of the term "reuse, renew, recycle"?  A bag to put in another bag..... so ridiculous.

9.  "Did you just eat that candy sir?  oooooooh you were just sampling it?  Well, see, it's by the weight, so you just technically stole from us.  Would you like to be arrested for shop lifting?  Oh, you didn't knooooow.  Can you read?  There is a sign right in front of you that says NO SAMPLING!"

10.  Oh lovely, what is this? Gum!  Who does that?  Who spits their gum on store floors?  HOW RUDE!

11.  "If a coupon expires, then it expires.  I'm sorry you missed your chance to get the free train whistle with any purchase.  I understand you just got that book today, but the other 6 coupons haven't expired.  Why did it expire?  Because everything goes on sale in the month of September.  If you REALLY want your free train whistle, I will gladly charge you full price for everything you're buying.  Oh!  Now you don't care for the train whistle?  Are you sure, because you just yelled at me and threw the coupon at my face and got all huffy about it?"  (like a 3 year old!)

12.  If you come up to the register with a huge basket of items to purchase, please have already committed to buying them.  Sitting their debating all 27 items ("hmm.. should i get this?  how much is this?  no, put that back.... ooorrrrrr no keep it... hmm... ") is taking up a lot of time, and now there is a line of 10 people.  You are not only annoying us, but everyone behind you.

and speaking of lines  13.  Remember in 2nd grade when you got in line, and you waited in line and it was EASY!  Let's remember that when you have the urge to cut in front of people.  Cutting is rude.  We don't like cutting, and it only causes 2nd grade fights in our store.

For all the 95% of tourists that rocked this summer, thank you for not doing the 13 things above... and for the 5%... well I hope that the next time you shop in a store, anywhere in the world, you remember this blog and now know what to do and what NOT to do. :)

Happy shopping!

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