The Skagway News Vol. XXXIII, No. 15 was out on the shelves August 27th, and I have been too busy to put up the latest of the "Heard on the Wind" until today. And even now I'm a little too sleepy but these are just too funny not to let you read them.
Our summer reporter intern locked herself out of the newsroom and came down to the bookstore to borrow a key for the upstairs door.
"Can I borrow the key?" she asked the clerk, "I locked myself out."
The clerk obliged, loaning her the key (this wasn't the first time).
A tourist in the store then asked the clerk, "Do all of your houses share the same key?"
A Haines man called to file a "complaint" about Skagway. A friend of his was getting married and a bachelor party was being organized. So he calls the Red Onion Saloon asking if any of the brothel girls would be willing to come over to Haines and be a stripper for $250. There were no takers, "Your prostitutes aren't real," he complained.
At the post office a woman standing at the closed gate looked at the parcel window which listed Saturday hours.
"I can't believe this post office is only open on Saturdays," she said, oblivious to the sign that directed people to the counter on weekdays.
A bicyclist who crashed to avoid three tourists that blindly stepped in front of him was heard saying, before remounting and riding away... "You people need to watch out for yourselves. This isn't Disneyland and there's traffic on these streets."
On day five of the Cassiar Highway fires, a woman comes into the visitors center and asks if the Cassiar Highway is open yet.
When told no, she comments, "I thought it would be all burned up by now."
Very seriously, a woman whips up to the postal counter and asks, "I'm assuming I can mail a package from Ketchikan?" She is assured that is so.
A local man parked in front of the hardware store with his dog in the back of his truck. A visitor asked, "Why do all of the guys in Alaska have dogs in the back of their truck?"
The local replied, "Because the women insist on riding in the front."
A visitor walks in and says, "Wow, the sun's coming out."
A tour driver (who obviously has had better days) replies, "No, the clouds are just all f---ed up."
and this one was from our store and hasn't been published yet (but I did submit it).
A customer asked one of my employees, Brittany, if there was any salmon berry flavor in our mixed taffy? Brittney replied "No, that flavor is sold separately in it's own package."
"Oh good," said the customer, "I'm allergic to fish and I didn't want to exactly get a salmon berry piece in my bulk bag." Brittany just smiled. WOW!!!